Two lives one night

Last night I woke up gasping for breath. This has happened to me several times before but last night was the worst. I honestly felt like I was going to die. I was having so much trouble catching my breath and it was hard to swallow. When I finally felt like I was breathing well, I was shaking so hard and I was so cold. I decided to lay slightly sitting up but I had a hard time falling back to sleep because I was so scared I went into a panic attack. I still felt a bit shaky this morning and I am exhausted.

Usually when I wake up feeling like I am choking, I am dreaming that I swallowed marbles or a pen or something. It feels like I have something in my throat.

Do I have sleep apnea? I have wondered this for a while but I think it is time to find out. My Mom has Gurd and I had a lot of problems with esophagus spasms a few years back so it could be that as well. My coworker swears it's sinus drainage.

My doctor said I could have a sleep study but I can’t afford one right now. In the mean time A bought me a foam inclined plane (haha I learned that on Sid the Science Kid) to lie on. (He also brought me flowers. He is such a sweetie!)





In my Second Life; I made this cute little Easter Basket. It's free at my booth on Babydoll's Island (I also made the dress but I am not finished with it...). I am doing a 250+ Easter Egg hunt. There are some fantastic freebies (like the ears I am wearing that I modified) and I am a big fan of hunts, so I am having a blast.

The only reason I started playing around in SL again is because my bestie J asked me to make some outfits for her Sorority's pledge week. I hope I make her proud.

Washed up

Remember how I told you that we were going to do some minor improvements to the bathroom? Well, I painted and A hung some new towel bars and shelves. No, I don't have any photos right now. Why? Well, we have had a minor leak in the tub. We would find a pool of water under the sink after showers. It has rotted away our under the sink cabinet. I noticed it when I was painting and the wood would come off as I painted. No big deal right? Well, now the floor is squishy and I poked a few holes in it when I was wearing my stilettos.

Yesterday we had a monsoon. Okay, just a torrential downpour. Well, the walls started leaking... What the?? Now it smells moldy in there. For fear of getting black lung from toxic mold, A and I decided that the bathroom is now #1 on the priority list along with the roof. Thanks Arkansas weather!! We had to do some creative financing but I think we have enough to fix both.

So what was supposed to be an "after" post is now a "before revisited" post. Needless to say I am stressed out. We are going to do the work ourselves because we can't afford to hire someone and A really thinks we can do it. I am sure we can do it. I just hope we can get it done quickly and ulcer free.

I will keep you updated!

Coraline

I've been buttoned

A and I went to see Coraline in 3D. It was pure creepy goodness. We both almost wet ourselves because we had to go pee so bad but the movie was so interesting, we didn't want to miss a second. I am not good at writing reviews so I suggest you take a look at the website. Although A and I thought it was amazing, I definitely don't recommend it for the little ones.

Sick Day

A 6 year old with an upper respiratory infection + orders from BM to stay in her room all day = A room that looks like a craft store threw up in it. We sure had fun though.

Almost there!

I just hit level 60 in World of Warcraft. Only 10 more levels to go to reach my goal. I may take it all the way to 80. Thanks to J for showing me around the Outlands!

Now I am off to search for fun things to do for a 6 year old with an upper respiratory infection that she can do from her bed...

Any suggestions?

Thankful

Well, they aren't "New" but they are new to me. They look like they were hardly ever worn and they were free!! (Yes, the shoes in the first photo are furry LOL) I love free stuff especially if it comes in the form of sexy shoes.

I received an apology today. It totally caught me off guard and wasn't expected. It was from a boy who I loved before I met A. I won't go into it but he did me wrong and broke my heart and at the time he thought he wasn't at fault. I harbored a lot of hate toward him for a long time. I prayed and prayed for release but it never came. He said God showed him that he did treat me like a jerk and put it on his heart to apologize. I am very thankful for this apology and I am looking forward to closure and getting rid of any ugliness left in my heart from him.

I am so thankful for forgiveness. Thankful to give it and receive it.

I miss you Dad

Dad was a handsome young man

It’s been 5 years since my Daddy passed away on St. Patrick’s Day. I will never forget the phone call I received from my Mom asking me to come home right away, that there wasn’t much time. I didn’t make it. I couldn’t drive fast enough. The look of his skinny body consumed by cancer, lying on the hospital bed in our living room will be etched in my mind forever.

This isn’t how I want to remember him. I don’t like knowing that he gave up. There was so much to live for. We could have tried harder, taken him to specialists… none of this happened and I don’t know why.

For the longest time I hated living in Arkansas. I associated this place with my Dad’s death. It’s almost like Arkansas took him from me.

My folks moved out here to retire. It made sense; they wanted to get away from the city. My dad couldn’t wait to start fishing.

The move was good in other ways as well. Dad finally started to get into church (Mom has always been really involved). He took a big part in the remodel of their church (he was an amazing contractor) and he took a few misguided teens under his wing.

Then the lung cancer came. He had been smoke free for over 11 years!
I was still in California at the time. I dropped everything (nice rental, good paying job & boyfriend) and moved to Podunk Arkansas. I helped my mom take care of him. I was there though the hallucinations caused by the morphine. I helped change him when he couldn’t turn over on his own. There is nothing more heart wrenching then watching a once big and strong man, a man I loved with all of my heart, wither away.

I was so bitter for so long. A part of me still is. He doesn’t get to walk me down the isle and I can’t ask his advice for the remodeling A and I want to do. And no matter how much I loved him, My Uncle L lost his brother and best friend and I don’t want to imagine how much my Mom hurts having lost the love of her life.

I know this is post is a downer but I had to get this all out of me.

I do know he is in Heaven and this all happened for a reason. Had I not come to Arkansas, I would have never met the love of my life and the bond between my Mom and I is stronger than ever.

I will always miss his big bear hugs, sarcasm, wonderful signing voice, supper yummy chili and his grouchiness the most.

I also know that I will get to see him again one day.

I love you Daddy! You will always be my Huckleberry!

Dad and Mom in Branson, MO.

Silly dancing

Gone Fishin'

I just realized my Mom has all the great family photos. I am going to have to raid her albums...

I've got you pegged

I can finally say we've got a DIY project finished. We've had the materials to make D a peg board for a while now and we finished it tonight. A put the support wood on the back because he wanted to practice cutting wood at an angle. I painted the peg board white which turned out to be a huge pain in the rump. When the paint dried I had to poke holes through the paint... Then I glued ribbon and lace around the border and stuck on some princess embellishments.

The touch ups aren't totally dry.

This freed up a lot of room on her desk. I plan on buying a few different styles of hooks so we can add more to the board.

We also cleaned the entire house. I can't believe it. For the first time in a very long while, all rooms of the house are clean at once. No laundry, no crazy boxes full of crap (aside from what's in the garage but that doesn't count) and only the dinner dishes are in the sink. Hallelujah!

Hot N Cold

Have you heard the song, "Hot N Cold" by Katy Perry? If not, here is a little taste;

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

This is how I feel about the Arkansas weather lately. One day it is gorgeous, the next it's cold. Yesterday was beautiful and felt like early summer, tomorrow it is supposed to snow up to 8 inches. What is left of the trees are budding and it looks so pretty. If it snows tomorrow, it will all be ruined. C'mon weather! Make up your mind!!

Sheesh

On a 101 things in 1001 note;

79. See a play with Mom once a year #2

Why is this on my list?: My Mom loves live theatre. We had such a good time at "Butterflies Are Free" we couldn't wait to see the first play of the year.

How did I do it?: In our local news paper I read that "But Why Bump Off Barnaby" would be the first play of the year. The ad said it would be a "Mystery Farce" kind of like "Clue" which my Mom and I love. I also invited Sis because she was a bit hurt that she couldn't come last time.

How did it feel?: Um... It was nowhere near as good as the last play. The setting was in a mansion somewhere in England but no one had a British accent. At one point the maid was calling the women "Mum" but when you say it with a southern accent, it just makes no sense. My Sis leaned over and asked me, "Why did she just call her Mom?" There was a lot of over acting but the set was well made. A guy friend of mine was in it so I was interested in seeing his acting abilities and he was actually the best. I didn't feel like he was just spiting lines but really trying to act in the moment. I was impressed. A's coworker Ryan (from the last show) was sitting in front of us and I asked him why he wasn't in this play. He said he needed some time off. Too bad. They could have used him in this show. Mom had fun and that's really all that matters.

Yep, another grainy camera phone photo

I'm not a looser...

We weighed in for the second time in our Biggest Looser Challenge. I. gained. a. pound. My coworker decided it is because Aunt Flo is on her way. Of course I agreed!

I took a quiz on the Calorie Count site. This is what it said about my eating habits;

Excessive Eater

You tend to overeat, which is very common in our society. As published in the Journal of Nutrition, Education, and Behavior, the amount of food we consume is proportional to the amount of food we get served. Unfortunately, the portions in restaurants and the size of products in supermarkets have both grown tremendously over the years. Super size, anyone?

Your Eating Habits
Despite the amount of food that you consume, your diet is most likely not nutritionally balanced and does not meet your daily values of essential nutrients, vitamins and minerals. There is commonly a link between satiety and health - foods rich in fiber and that tend to fill you up quickly are usually better than foods that you can eat a lot of.

The Solution
Calorie counting and food journals are an effective method against overeating. They help you understand where your calories come from, and which foods you should be careful with. To find out how many calories you should be eating, try our Expenditure Calculator. Also, it's a good idea to add some exercise to your daily routine. This will not only increase your calorie allowance, but it will improve your health and make you feel great!

So true. I have been overeating my low calorie snacks. If I eat 3, 100 calorie packs of cookies... What's the point? I am a mess.

I'm also getting a head cold and I'm trying to keep from staying home from work.
What a blah day.

Prayers please

My Bestie in the Westie is in the hospital again. They don't know what is wrong (Possibly some kind of pneumonia) and they don't know when she will be able to go home. Our weekend plans are canceled and I am very bummed about it but I am more concerned for her and her health.

So please pray, send vibes, thoughts (or whatever you'd like) her way.

Thank you.

Sewing Patterns for Dummies

Yup, that's me! Not in the picture but the Dummy that patterns like this one were made for :)
I am sure I could have come up with my own pattern and save myself almost $9 but I need to learn how to follow a pattern. D told me that she wouldn't wear a skirt but she said she would wear an apron. We love to bake together and she is forever wiping her hands on her clothes. I figured we needed some matching aprons! If I can successfully make these aprons, I will post photos.

A and I finally started cleaning up the back yard ice storm damage. I can't remember if I mentioned it but it turns out that we had over $5,000 worth of damage to the roof, fence and ceiling. I received the insurance check (less my deductible & depreciation) so now we have to figure out what we can do ourselves and what we need to pay professionals to do. I really thought there wasn't much damage but the insurance company strongly suggested we have an appraiser come out anyway. I am glad we did. It's just a huge pain in the rump to have to deal with it all. Needless to say, our interior DIY projects are on hold again...

I am excited because my guilty reality TV pleasure's season premiere is tonight. I hate to love Keeping up with the Kardashians! (O.M.G. That's why their store is called 'DASH', KarDASHians!! I am such a dolt!) I really love the relationship the sisters have. You can really tell they love each other. Not to mention that they are all a hot mess!

Man, it's already 8pm?! Stinking day light savings...

Dongstool, Dongstool, He's our man!

For those of you that don't know, I am in love with the Sims. Starting with the original Sims,then the now defunct Sims Online (Where I met my BFF on the east coast) and now Sims2. I go on binges where I have to play during any spare time I get then I take long breaks. I received the Sims Apartment Life and the Mansion expansion packs for Christmas and I finally installed them the other day.

I am not going to babble on about how much fun this game is for me. I have a little Goth Sim waiting on me as I type (And a kitty trying to sit on my keyboard...). I just wanted to share with you a handsome man my Sim ran into down town; his name is Dongstool Nanale. Really? Dongstool? I kid you not. The screen cap has not been altered. I nearly peed my frilly white panties.

I think I found my Sim her new love interest!

Piece of cake

Our Biggest Looser challenge started yesterday. I weighed in at a whopping 183 which was less than I thought. I was sure I was about to hit 190 (193 is my heaviest weight ever). We are in groups of three so the grand prize, aside from looking fabulous, is $70 each.

It is only day two and everyone is grouchy from hunger. We are trying to cut out all the bad snacking we do during the day. There is a drawer in our department filled with goodies. We just need to toss the junk and replace it with fruits and whatever else healthy people snack on. I already have a caffeine headache but I know in a few days it will be gone. A is trying to do the challenge with me which will be a great help. Having someone at home to keep me accountable is definitely what I need.

The hardest part for me will be exercising. Because I am so unhealthy, I have no energy… It is a miracle if I can wake up early enough to get to work on time. I am also lacking in the willpower area (geez I sound super lazy!). I think I’ll start out on the Wii fit. I just hope it remembers who I am! I’d like to keep taking Piper for walks but it has been so cold, even with her jacket on, she just shivers and shivers.

One of my team mates found this fantastic site where you can count calories, find recipes and join groups. I joined a Wii Fit group and a group about getting fit for your wedding.

I guess I won’t be eating any more of the rainbow cake D and I made this weekend… I got the idea here but instead of using her recipe, I just used the box recipe. Next time I am going to make it egg white only so the colors are brighter. I also forgot to make the red batter larger than the purple so you can barely see the red (not that you can tell anyway with my poopy camera). The frosting colors are all D’s idea. It may look funny but it tastes yummy!




P.S. Speaking of Piper, Her staph is gone and her wounds are almost healed. She still has a few weeks of antibiotics to go. Since she is on her steroids again she is gaining weight. My poor pooch just can’t win.

So sorry

For the lack in blogging. I definitely have stuff to say but I installed The Sims Apartment expansion and I got sucked in...